There I was, sitting all alone. Then, it dawned on me. I have no one in this world left, but me. Lonely in this world bound by the ocean of my own despairs. Inundated with thoughts of my own fears, drowning in the great lakes of my tears.
I sit alone because no one knows I even exist. Lost in the darkness of the abyss with an airless atmosphere I suffocate with no air to breathe. Anxiously, grasping franticly for air. I see the people walk past me, but they just don’t care, as I struggle to breathe.
I witness my life before my very own eyes playing as if it were a motion picture. Drinking the elixir of life as I took it for granted. Holding my chest, eyes bulging as I try to expand my lungs to breathe in air. I have seen the angel of death with a grin on his face as he said, you can try to escape all you want, but you crossed over to the land where no one cares.
Sip on the anguish of death for that is your fate here. I remember, thinking, how could I cheat death or tell the angel of death I’ll be late and avoid this inevitable fate.
See, I realize the devil has a way of bringing up everything you have done wrong in life so you can wallow away in self-pity. So, you can say to yourself “there is no hope for me.”
But Darkness is just the absence of light, the devil is the great deceiver, just hang on to God’s word and follow the light. I rebuke you, devil, in the name of Jesus I said, good try, But I’m not ready to die tonight.
I thought I gave all that I can give. Then I realized at the moment of my death I wanted to live. How could I become so confused and weighed down with such hopelessness? I have so much to live for, so much to be thankful for.
But this is the moment I confess and contest to all I am a fallen saint who lost his way. So, I pray to God to fill the void in my heart, cleanse my spirit, and wash me whiter than snow.
Dear Lord, please hear me when I pray. As I give thanks for the air that I breathe, for the family I have left. I received a reprieve for the moment and put one finger up at the devil as I cheated death.
I continue to fight as I walked in the light with the breastplate of salvation. Keeping my mind, spirit, and soul in the elevations of heavenly thoughts instead of wallowing in the dungeons of vexation and frustration.
I can hear my sister Lucia say, “Hey kid keep on giving and living”. Thanks for reading this poem “My Last Breath”.
Bringing light to depression and mental illness.
There is help if you are going through something, you don’t have to go through it alone.
Mathew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Resources that may help;
SAMHSA = Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Helpline 1-800-662-4357. Their website: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.
Suicide and Crisis Center https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/our-crisis-centers/
Your situation may seem bleak right now, but it is not the end. You may feel that your world is turned upside down and there is no hope but there is. If you can be brave and find the courage to just reach out and ask for help you will find it.
If this message touched one life it was worth the time it took to put it together.
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Thank you. Have a great Day!
