In January 2023 I weighed in at two-hundred sixty-one pounds. On January 12th my wife was admitted into the hospital and remained there for over eighty days and was promoted to heaven where she received her heavenly wings. During that time I was by here side every single day. My eating habits declined and my emotions were on a roller-coaster ride I will never forget. June 8th will be two months living without my wife of twenty-seven years and friend of fourty-three years. It still feels like I lost her just yesterday.
Since I am an emotional eater, my body is paying serious dividens of eating unhealthy and spiriling out of control. I started going to the gym again, and for the two weeks I have been trying to get back on track. However, this morning I got on the scale and to my surprise, I was an astounding 281lbs. This is definately going in the wrong direction. Although, I haven’t changed my eating habits that much, I realize it will take a little more commitment and hard work outside of the gym. I am well aware it is ninety percent of what you do outside the gym that matters the most. I vowed to never go back to 305lbs where my journey started.
There are days I find it so hard to get out of the bed and brave the new day. Most of the time I just want to recoil somewhere to never be seen again. That type of thinking and behavior doesn’t work for me because that is not who I am. Neverthelest, it’s a mental war I am facing every day. I know my wife’s kids are having a hard time dealing with the loss of their mother., and what bothers me the most is I cannot find it in me to be there for them the way I should be. My wife was the glue that held this family together.
Sorry for digressing. I will never give up my weight loss journey. I will surmount it, adapt to a new way of living because I don’t believe in diets. I believe in finding a healthier way. What has held my fabric together is the grace of God. See, I don’t have any true friends, I only have associates. One day I looked up and found all my friends of many years gone, and I own that because of the chosen lifestyle I had. When I reunited with one friend I knew I didn’t need anyone else in my life because God has blessed me with the such an amazing women who later became my wife.
She was a strong women who is probably looking down at me and saying, “get it together and stop being a whimp.” That was the kind of woman she was. Strong, spicy, tender, caring, loving, intelligent, fun to be around and funny at times. She was amazing in my eyes and will always be. I know it’s time to start taking care of myself and get rid of this weight. So that is where I am heading now, to the gym to get a good workout in.
I believe we are all connected directly and indirectly for a purpose. We may not know what that purpose is, but you can rest assure one of the reasons is to uplift one another, inpire each other to become better people.
“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another even as also ye do.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13.
I want to thank you for taking time out of your day and sharing it with me. It means a great deal. I recently started a podcast called The Last Podcast and would be honored if you would take a listen and reach out to me on how I can improve on it.
Having the podcast has been theraputic.