I Failed To Be Motivated

Motivated to be fit is the name of my blog, and I have failed to live up to the title. It was not by choice but by neglect because I never realized how grieving could affect you when someone you love and trust has passed away. My sister was there to talk things over with and hash out new ideas about almost any topic.

Having no one to talk with that you can trust is lonely and dangerous. I talk with God about all my issues. However, it would be great to talk with someone you can develop trust. My sister was that outlet for me. When I was young, I had many people that I called friends. Over the years that have passed, I watched my friend’s list dwindle to no one on the list at all. I wonder, what does that say about me?

The Was An Eye Opener

Through grieving and not caring for myself, my health has suffered to the point of hospitalization. Recently I was hospitalized for a couple of days because my sugar level was 840. I was never diagnosed with diabetes, nor does anyone in my family suffer from it.

When the doctor informed me that I am now a diabetic and would have to take insulin, my first response to him was, can I reverse this? The doctor said yes, and continued to say I would have to make some significant changes in how I lived and what I was eating. So, finally, I have a goal worth fighting to achieve.

I know the road ahead will not be an easy one to travel. Two weeks ago, I weighed in at 286lbs at the doctor’s office. Today I know I have lost some weight because my clothes fit more comfortably. In addition, I have stopped eating sweets altogether, and I no longer eat fried foods.

Wait! That is not entirely true because I eat two eggs with two turkey sausages in the morning. The rest of the day, I will have grilled chicken or baked salmon or fish. I am a work in progress and have much to be thankful for, including the family I have left.

Thank you for reading my post. I will do my best to post my progress here periodically. May your day be filled with blessing, joy, and prosperity.

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I Noticed A Bad Feeling Today

Have you ever woken up with the feeling nothing matters? I have, and it is not a good feeling to wake up that way. It’s strange because I usually wake up thanking God for allowing me to see another day. However, lately, I have been slipping, especially today. I noticed I did not read my scriptures. I have internally said my prayers, but it is not the same as getting in the spirit of talking with God.

My state of mind must be put in check. You read that right. I have noticed something is off, and I must check whatever it is and then nip it in the bud quickly before it festers into something uncontrollable. Have you seen anything about yourself that is changing?

It is a revelation when you catch yourself slipping in some area, you usually excel. I want to open a dialog to find out what others are doing when they notice unwarranted changes in good habits. Who will be brave enough to open a dialogue? I can also be reached at my personal email davidburton443@gmail.com if you don’t want to hash it out here online.

A Conversation With Procrastination

It is day six of working out. I want to quit already.  But something inside will not let me give up.  I feel procrastination creeping up on me, saying, “you can walk or run tomorrow; you are tired now and deserve to rest.”  Wow!!! I am at war with myself.  Have you ever said things like this to yourself?  I am finding more reasons to not workout than I have to work out.  Are you hearing me?  I am a hot mess today.

The Conversation With Procrastination

When contemplating doing a thing, you have a conversation with yourself.  Perhaps it’s not with yourself but with the spirit of procrastination and maybe doubt.  I want to take you on a journey of my conversation with procrastination the other day.

Maybe you have similar conversations with yourself as well. For example, for several months, I have developed a habit of watching television in the evening while I eat dinner and after that.  Before you know it, I have gained thirty pounds just like that.  While being a complete couch potato, I often said I should hit the treadmill.  I knew deep inside I had developed a bad habit that could lead to a severe problem down the road.   The other pattern I created was reading a book while the television was on or studying.

My treadmill in the living room is gathering dust.

The other day I looked at the treadmill, which is situated in my living room that made it easy to see and use.

(Procrastination)

However, procrastination chimed in their two cents and said, “relax, David, you are only going to hurt yourself because you are tired right now.  Sit here on the couch and get your feet up.  Look at your ankles; they’re swollen.”

This became my routine or new habit.

(Me)

It’s been a while since I have used the treadmill, and the longer I delay, the more work I will have to do.

(Procrastination)

David, don’t you feel tired?  I know you want to work out, but right now, it is just a recipe for disaster and an accident ready to happen.

(Me)

I can barely bend down to tie my shoes;  I also have to start eating healthier than what I have been eating. So I will do something today. I will be a brand new start for a healthier me.

(Procrastination)

I understand eating healthier but pump the breaks on that idea until you finish those cookies you bought.  You know you love those cookies, and I have to admit they are good.  David, let us finish off the first pack of the two boxes you bought yesterday now.

(Me)

Procrastination, you have a valid point on the cookies. However, I am a little hungry right now anyway.  Wait procrastination!!!  Why don’t you want me to work out today?  You seem adamant on me sitting on the couch getting fat.  Is that what you want?

(Procrastination)

No, David, I want what’s best for you.  I know you are tired and hungry.  Once you relax, you can hit the treadmill if you’re going to.  I want you to get the proper rest to help prevent injuries.  Last night you didn’t sleep well, remember?

(Me)

Procrastination, you said you have my best interest at heart.  However, it appears you don’t want me to start living a healthier lifestyle.  Why is that?

(Procrastination)

David, you have all wrong.  Remember when you hurt your leg because you were tired and came in and went right to the gym?  You kept getting sick as well.  Remember?  I want you to have the proper rest before you take on something strenuous.

(Me)

I will switch up my routines and change some of the bad habits I developed. But, sorry, procrastination, I believe listening to you is how I created my bad habits in the first place. So, instead of procrastinating, I will implement action.

The conversation is over.  Whenever I feel procrastination is trying to influence me, I call for action.  Action is my procrastination killer. So when you think you are being affected by procrastination, TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY!

If we let procrastination have its way with us, we open the door for the spirit of laziness to visit.  Before you know it, you will have to the entire family of hopelessness, despair, defeatism, and sorrow.  We always have to work to be in a positive frame of mind.  It is easy to be negative, but it takes a constant effort to train your mind to be positive and productive.

Treadmill Results

Below is a picture of yesterday’s results

 

 

12/07/2021 Results.

Today is the sixth consecutive day of workouts and it is not easy.  However, I showed up.

 

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Internal Words

Internal words have the same power as life and death.  The power of a word or words can breathe new air into an idea when spoken.  That idea can take flight when we put it into action. So what are you silently saying to yourself? I found that I would sabotage myself when my success was about to crest.  Right, when I was about to go above and beyond to move to the next success level, something would happen.

I had outside help from my spouse, who noticed this before and helped me put it in perspective. First, I needed to analyze why I would take on this behavior.  I asked myself some questions, like, was I afraid of success? My wife and I have been married for twenty-four years.  She has been on the outside looking in for some time now.  I valued her input and took to heart what she had to say. Unfortunately, the sad truth is my wife was right.

So, what was I internally saying to myself? I listed several things I believe stiffened my chances of success.

Six Reasons That Destroyed My Chances Of Major Success

  1. Laziness.
  2. Fear of succeeding beyond a certain level.
  3. Fear of the unknown.
  4. Believing I was not worthy of that success.
  5. Believing I was never good enough.
  6. I was never pushing myself to the mental limits.

I would go out to make sales and only do the bare minimum of sales. So, for example, instead of making ten sales in one week, I was happy to make enough sales to pay all my bills.  I did the bare minimum and was ok with that.  Money wasn’t something that ever motivated me.  I needed to find the motivating factor that would provide the drive or a sense of purpose.

Fear of succeeding beyond a certain point. People were trying to make sales to enjoy lavish vacations or purchase a new car.  On the other hand, I didn’t care about those things when I was younger, sure.

Lately, I find myself wanting more out of life.  I want to earn a living, that will impact the lives of others. So how can I start and do I contact?  I am busting through my limiting beliefs and exploring the possibilities that life offers for this young guy.

Do you have any limiting beliefs? If so, how have you dealt with them?

One Small Step To Make a Difference

Are you doing all that you intended to do or accomplish in life?  If you are, that is awesome; keep achieving greatness. But, if you are not, what do you think is the reason preventing you from creating excellence in your life?  Is it the chips life has handed you? Is it the choices you have made up to this point in life? Could it be the vision you have seen for your life? Is it the lack of meaningful goals you have implemented?

What Is In Your Way?

What is preventing you from living in victory?  Are you happy with who you are? Do you wake up in the morning eager to start the day?  If not, why not? Do you yearn for change?  Do you recognize you need to make changes in your life but don’t know where or how to start?  Here is one of the biggest questions; why am I here?  What is my purpose? What am I meant to do?

How can you break the chains of self-limiting beliefs to restore the confidence and power to succeed in your life?  What information have you installed into your mind up until this point? If you want to invoke the change to become a better, more efficient person, I have some ideas that may work for you.

Suggestions On Making Small Changes That May Work For You

  1. Honesty – you must write down the raw truth of what changes you want to make and why?  If there are several things that you have written down, that is alright.  Choose one item on the list and make that your first thing to alter in your life.  Remember, this is not going to be easy or hard.  It will be what you make it according to your perspective and belief.  The most important thing here is that you choose to change and take action toward that transformation you want to see every day.
  2. Disruption – We all have routine(s) that run on autopilot.   After you have decided what to change in your life, you must disrupt the routine associated with the thing in your life to change.  For example, when you get stressed, do jumping jacks or pushups instead of eating. This disruption will steer you in the direction of good health. Oppose to eating which will increase your weight to obesity.
  3. Habit Association – This works in tandem with routines.  Self-assessment to capture and write down all habits associated with the behavior you want to change.  You will have to exchange the bad habit with a good pattern to benefit your desired change.

Most changes are of a mental capacity and are where the change resides first.  Action will follow our thought patterns and is where the change is materialized.  You get to see firsthand how I intend to change my own life because I am a work in progress.

Thank you for taking time out to read this post.  My wish for you is to be healthy and to prosper in life with the capacity to experience all that life has to offer you.

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How I Am Creating A Powerful Small Habit For Change

If you have read my previous post on how I have failed my challenge, you know I have not quit. But, unfortunately, I did not receive the results I set out to achieve. So, I am at it again with complete transparency on how I intend to reach my lasting goal.  My goal is to lose eighty-nine pounds in nine months safely.

If my math is correct, I will lose roughly nine pounds a month.  The most I have dropped in one month was seven pounds.  I have never lost seven pounds back-to-back months.  I am not ready mentally for the challenge, but I need to start now.  That brings me to my third day on the treadmill.

The tiny habit I am creating is a disruption in routine when I come home from being out in the field going to b2b. When I usually come home, I grab something to eat and sit in front of the television while I eat. Then, once I finish eating, I get up, turn the t.v off, wash the dishes, and mosey on over to my computer.

There I read, check my emails, and surf for a few minutes before I get down to business.  Here is where I will disrupt my routine.  When I come home, I hurry up and change into my workout shorts, preparing my mindset for business with the treadmill.  Today is my third day of doing this.  I know it is too early to break out the champagne in triumph, but it sure feels good I found something working.

12/03/2021 Treadmill Results

The Psychology of My Habit

I had a bad habit of coming home eating and watching television for about fifteen minutes, and then going and sitting at my computer for several hours.  That habit was a recipe for disaster, which is why I have gained so much weight.  Most of what I do is in front of a computer screen.

Disruption 1

Before I arrive at home, I say to myself, “the first thing we are going to do is change into our workout clothing.” So I am mentally preparing to do the work before I arrive home by changing my clothes that feel good because they allow me to get comfortable.

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Disruption 2

Instead of saying I have to work out, I will change my mindset and verbiage and say it will be good to get on the treadmill and become much healthier for my future self. As a result, I am going to look great!

Changing what I am positively saying to myself reinforces a good habit and routine.  So far, it is working.  There will be days where I may feel overwhelmed and tired.  Those are the most important day to show up for me.  Even for a few minutes on the treadmill, I must realize I cannot give in to a lackadaisical temptation or do nothing at all.

Disruption 3

Breaking my bad habits is what I am focusing on by making the bad habits challenging to perform and unattractive.  Thereby making good habits more attractive, easily reachable, and more rewarding when accomplished.  For example, I love cookies and sweets.  They are my downfall, along with my favorite fried chicken.  No kidding!  I am not being facetious.  I would hate to see what my insides look like after eating fried chicken almost every other day this year.

Here’s one of my plans.  Before I go into it, let me give you a little context why I believe my plan will work.  I used to smoke a pack and a half of cigarettes daily.  I stopped smoking seventeen years ago by associating smoking with pain.

I knew I had to create something drastic or trick myself into thinking something was wrong.  Every time I would smoke, I would force myself to cough badly.  I would then say, “I have to stop smoking. I cannot stand the pain I feel when it makes me cough.”  It has been seventeen years since I have picked up a cigarette.  That worked for me in that situation.

So, eating sweets and fried chicken all the time will cause me to be very obese, unable to tie my shoes, put on socks, and makes me very winded to walk.  PAIN!  I put up with all those things and have come to a point where the discomfort is also causing other health problems.

It would be best to stop the unwanted behavior at its source.  Threat the problem, not the symptoms.  I have to be brutally honest with myself about my emotions, triggers, and the solutions that might work.  I am not perfect, but the only thing I will quit are the bad habits that keep me from achieving my goals.

 

I Have Failed

I have failed to lose all the weight I intended to lose at my last attempt. So, I am going back to the drawing board.  It has been an emotional journey to lose weight and manage all the losses I have experienced.

Not to mention several near-death events my wife has experienced in the past year. However, my wife is a strong-willed woman and will do anything for her family.  With what she has endured, there is no doubt the good Lord has her around for a reason.

We spend a great deal going to and from the hospital every week for one reason or another.  I know it’s very taxing on my wife’s body, mind, and spirit.  I want to be there for her so much; I believe I forgot about myself.  I have gained weight eating all the wrong things and letting my healthy way fall by the wayside.

I weighed in today at a WHOPPING 289LBS.  Yes!!!  That is insane!  I own this gross failure to take care of myself. I cannot blame it on circumstances.  I made the conscious decision to eat cookies, cakes, and a ton of fried chicken.  I was often eating one meal or stress eating to a degree where I could not move.

Look at me slacking.

From the picture on the left, you can see that I have regained my weight back.  It’s ok because I am down but not out. But, you know, I need to make some adjustments for lasting results.

I have to admit that a lot is going on in the mental realm that requires assessment and adjusting.  Today is day one of my new beginning.  I will log the good, bad, and ugly: no fluff here, only some good honest truth.

 

 

The Second Day Back On The Treadmill

I did not want to get on the treadmill today.  I came home. I was tired and hungry.  The first thing I did when I got home was change into workout clothes.  Then I ate dinner and waited fifteen minutes and started walking slowly on the treadmill and gradually increased the speed.

Final steps = 7,054.

Final Distance 2.21 miles.

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I Have Every Reason To Be Thankful

The family’s Thanksgiving.

It’s around that time again.  Thanksgiving is approaching, and we get to enjoy all the festivities that come with the celebration of being thankful for all that we have.  This year is exceptional for me because last year, I almost lost my wife to heart disease.  At one point, they were sending her home from the hospital and informing us to get her affairs in order.  After the news, I sat at the edge of her hospital bed, and we both cried. Fortunately, my wife’s cardiologist disagreed with his colleague’s assessment.

My wife’s cardiologist suggested an LVAD.  It’s a fancy and short name for a Left Ventricular Assist Device.  It’s a heart pump attached to the recipient’s heart to assist the heart with distributing blood to the rest of the body’s organs.

 

Heart Pump

 

Some may think that living like this is not very good. But then you have some people who would gladly take on the opportunity to walk with this for the rest of their life as a blessing or new lease on life.  Do you sacrifice some things? Yes, you do?  However, it sure beats the alternative. Sure it does.  You get to be here with family and do your best to enjoy your new lease on life with family.

This year more than ever, I am grateful for the cardiologist who believed that my wife would survive against all odds, including some of his colleagues who did not share his opinion.

How grateful I am to have my wife by my side and me by hers.  What are you thankful for?

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Fallen From Grace

Have you ever gotten the feeling you fell short for something?  You intricately missed the mark.  I have. I feel I have fallen from grace with my sacred duties.  You are probably wondering what I mean, or better yet, where am I going with this.

Let me start from the very beginning.  As far back as I can remember, I never believed in God.  Being a non-believer blinded me to the reality of faith and the power of believing in something other than what I can physically see.  For years I have witnessed my grandmother going to church and reading the bible.  I could remember it as if it were yesterday.  She would get up early in the morning when it was quiet and read verses for hours.  She would do the same at night before she retired to bed.

I thought she was wasting her time.  How ignorant I was.  Years went by, and I went on with life in a cloud of disbelief.  Reading books but never acquiring knowledge.  I could see through my eyes but never had true sight.  I could hear what was said but never had an understanding.  My unbelief clouded my senses and dulled my judgment.  Blinded by disbelief went on for years. I could remember hearing it as yesterday; my grandmother would say, I will pray for you.

So what changed?  As I traveled my journey on the road to Damascus and saw the light of understanding. I understood what my grandmother tried to impart to me with clarity.  For once in my life, I understood her reasons for seeking forgiveness, salvation through prayer and reading the scriptures.

The Power Of Belief

However, I believed I didn’t understand the full scope of what I honestly thought. Reading the bible was a great help. However, there still was one thing missing, and that was belief. It is strange we can get behind the wheel of a car and believe in our skill not to get into an accident. However, we cannot believe in something we have never seen or the people we know have never seen before.  Belief is simple as flipping the light switch on or off.  You can choose to believe, or you can choose not to accept.   Sure, you can get technical about the facts of a particular thing.  However, in the end, the burden of proof rests on what you choose to believe.

When I was younger, I participated and heard many debates about whether or not to believe in ancient writings.  I have since discontinued debating what I don’t fully understand to be the complete will of God. Therefore, I will leave the secret thoughts of others alone and seek only the divine prompting for my own life in the hopes I can live the rest of my life as the lost sheep now found.  I believe in the power of belief in the things I cannot see held in the power of faith.

Belief, Faith, and Trust!

 

 

 

Love Is Where Your Heart Is

I want you to imagine for a moment; you have just been giving the worse news imaginable—the death of a loved one.  Emotions rush through you like a dam that just lost its strength.  Thoughts raced through your mind like an F5 tornado.  Suddenly, you miss them more now than ever before because you know that you will no longer physically see, hear, or feel them without a shadow of a doubt.

If arrangements fall on your shoulders, you will not have to put grieving and your emotions from the surface so you can take care of arrangements.

To make matters worse, your loved one did not have life insurance. So you now have an added financial burden figuring out payment for arrangements.

I have seen many situations that have left families in ruins financially and emotionally. However, this does not have to be the case.  Will it the case for you?

Take the time and find a good Licensed Life Insurance Agent that can be there locally for you and your family.  Whatever you do, please do it now!

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